The next evening, at the dinner table, the old man arose and said, “Sons, your mother and I feel there’s something you should know. She and I were never married.” The sons jumped to their feet and exclaimed “Father, do you know what that makes us?” The old man replied, “Yes, and cheap ones at that.”

It is quite possible that the two sons were knife collectors! This is not to imply that knife collectors are of dubious progeny but rather to spotlight the knife collectors’ peculiar ritual of purchasing, one that may be akin to haggling over camels in Mid-Eastern bazaars. This unique purchasing ritual seems to exist nowhere else in the collecting annuals of the Western World.

No doubt many of you collectors are instantly alienated by the inference that you may be cheap. Aside from hearing this accusation almost constantly from your wives and occasionally from some of your friends, you undoubtedly consider yourself a canny acquirer of desirable cutlery whether you’re trading or outright purchasing. You may be oblivious to the methods and, naturally more concerned with the monetary expenditure. It’s entirely possible that your perception of yourself and that of others may differ drastically.

Let us investigate the possibility that you are cheap by examining your conduct during the last month or so. During this time you undoubtedly happened to find yourself at a gun show, a swap meet, an antique store, or at a garage sale. The more aggressive of you collectors could probably have been found at all four places.

Right so far? How do I know? Let me only say “It is the nature of the collector.” During your perusal of knives you saw at least one that immediately interested you. Upon inquiring the price, you were quoted one that was

quite a bit below its true value. Which of the following reactions was your?

1.) You immediately agreed to the price and gave the seller what he asked for. If this was your reaction, you are a prince among men and are in the small minority of all knife collectors. This article was not meant for your righteous ears so you need not read any further.

2.) You immediately replied, “What is your best price?” This usually is a knee-jerk reaction of the vast majority of knife collectors. They usually attempt to get a lower price no matter how fair the asking price is.

3.) You initiated a detailed inspection of the knife and, in the process, informed the owner of the over sharpened blade, the crack in the handle material, the weak spring, the rust on the blades, and the barely legible makers mark on the blade. This is known as the “less than mint ploy” and a lesser price is requested as a result of your dissertation on the faults of the knife. Although this ploy is reasonable if the knife is overpriced, many collectors utilize it consistently no matter whether or not the price quoted was fair.

4.) You replied “I’ll give you $__ for it and that’s my best offer.” This is known as the “crude ploy” and it sometimes backfires by backing the owner into a corner. This ploy rarely achieves a lower price unless the seller is a masochist and is desperate to make a sale in spite of the intimidation.

5.) You replied courteously “Would you consider $__ for the knife?” If this bid is not too far off the asking price, it is quite often successful in obtaining a price reduction because it allows the seller to reduce the price without being coerced into doing so. This ploy is one of the more successful ones if the item is really over-price; but, using it to obtain a reduction on an already low priced item is left to the conscience of the buyer.

6.) You indicated to the seller that the knife in question was worth less than he was asking and you did this by virtue of your considerable expertise and/or by quoting a surreptitious source. This ploy has occasionally been known to dazzle an unknowledgeable seller and achieve a price reduction, but it may be a dangerous one to use with a seller who has expertise in the field.